"A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On"
Reblogged from notaprincessdestinedtobeawitch
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?
1. Read some posts of men talking about their experiences, and some criticisms of tumblr feminism.
2. Do everything possible to minimise those criticisms and experiences, in the following ways:
i) Find some way - any way at all, no matter how ridiculous - to make these criticisms of feminism actually part of the problem. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! For the record, unfalsifiable =/= bulletproof, although there is a long a proud history of believing this to be true (cf. religion).
ii) Place the trivial social stuff (“nice guy” syndrome, paying for dinner) right after the serious legal stuff (false rape accusations), without making any distinction between them, thereby making it seem that all criticisms are trivial. It’s quite subtle, but psychologically manipulative.
iii) Finish, as is traditional, with horrendously patronizing language (“you should be thanking feminists” and “try caring”) designed not so much to convince men to agree, but to advertise to your blog followers that you’re “calling them out”.
3) Dump the whole thing into a post which you can safely share with your passive-aggressive friends, passive because it pretends to be a defense of tumblr feminism, aggressive because it’s actually an attack on the many legitimate criticisms of feminism, and by extension, men: Passive-aggressive.
If feminist blogs put HALF as much effort into actually dealing with criticisms that they put into spreading posts claiming that they deal with them, that would be a good start.
For instance, I’m still waiting for a single feminist response to the problem of false rape accusations without some bullshit qualifying language, or without making the post about something else.
If feminists blogs put HALF as much effort into actually engaging with the concerns of their critics (who are not always men, by the way) that they put into minimizing trivializing and ridiculing those posters, that would be a good start. By the way, “that never happens” or “I’ve never seen a feminist do that” counts as minimizing and trivializing. So thanks for that.
As ever, I will judge you by what you post, not what you think you’re posting, and certainly not what you tell me you’re posting.